Under a Watchful Eye
The first thing I noticed when I got off the plane at Gatwick was the sign asking me “Please, do not assault the airport staff”. Then I saw all the signs and I was a child again. The rules were back, everything was regulated. I needed to be told when to cross the street, where to drink, and where to put my eyes: “Look Left! Look Right!”. I got told to Mind the Gap and not to loiter. “Please, do not batter the train conductors/waiters/police” was a disconcerting and frequently posted message. It wasn’t that I was fluent in the language again, its that there’s a hell of a lot of rules in London. I was constantly instructed in the very basics of human behavior. Most of the signage pleaded for me not to contribute to the massive amounts of battery.
But not to worry: London is “SAFE! Under a Watchful EYE!”. There are motorized cameras every fifty feet on every corner of every block, in every WC, and on every bus and train. I read a book about a London like this in high school.
London is caught halfway between the USA and Europe. Coming from Italy, the presence of chain stores was very noticeable. The shops in central London are painted in bold primary colors making the streets into attractive checkerboards. Stretching across the skyline, old, ornate buildings like Parliment and Westminster compliment lots of interesting modern designs. An egg shaped glass skyscraper stands out in my mind. Central London is very clean, and everyone dresses very smartly. The United Kingdom still has royalty which, when you’re there, is so ludicrous its not even funny. We got a distinct sense that London was very much unlike England as a whole.
The parks in London are spacious and beautiful. They have gardens, soccer pitches and all manner of gorgeous waterfowl. My favorite sign in the park: “Please, do not Worry the Pelicans.” Fretful birds. The soapbox orators in Hyde park make for a good back and forth. I tried to worry those guys as much as I could.
Despite the traditional cuisine being kinda, well, boiled, we did all right with food. We nibbled painfully sharp cheddar at cheese shop, snarfed enormous slices of fish and stuffed chips down after them. We also enjoyed a brief window of quality beer again. But unlike in Germany, we payed for it.
London is very expensive. Every time you move a muscle in London you hemorrhage money. Prices look just like they do in The States, except they have that tricky ‘£’ in front of them. Its all very very nice, but very obvious why its so nice. The Underground, for instance, is very nice, very clean costs $2.50 a ticket, just for Central London.
But the Museums were all free! The Tate Modern had a good selection of modern art. The British Museum has the finest ancient exhibition I’ve ever seen. Its laid out as a chronological history lesson with the archaeological objects used as examples in your detailed tour through the ancient world. I got to see spells from the Egyptian Book of the Dead, the Rosetta Stone, and got a first hand glimpse at the dawn of the West.
We liked London, but were really eager to stop spending so much money. So we tubed over to Heathrow and flew back to Asia…